Our Conjoint Pornography Recovery program treats the Porn Addict & helps the Betrayed Spouse simultaneously.
Conjoint therapy is a unique form of marriage work. It is used when the couples situation does not lend itself to more traditional marriage work.
When relationship betrayal is still raw or active, couples counseling is not likely to be effective due to high levels of pain and defensiveness. In conjoint work, the partners each work separately with a counselor to deal with their own feelings and coping skills. When ready, they then brought together for more traditional couples work.at VBCC, we usually have separate counselors in our office work with the individuals, then as a team when the couples work begins. This way, both spouses have an advocate they know and trust.
In the early stages of Conjoint counseling for Porn Impacted couples:
The Addict learns:
- Victim Empathy to understand and respond to the hurt he has caused you.
- Confrontation Tolerance to stop the defensiveness and accept that confrontation by you is to help you deal with the fear of risking continued pain, as well as accepting help for his addiction.
- How to master the triggers he has developed that reinforce his addiction, and begin to rewire his brain so that porn loses it’s hold.
The Betrayed Spouse Works on:
- The pain of betrayal and your fear of future hurt that causes you to hold that betrayal close. Being betrayed causes you to place the future of your relationship on hold while you wait for proof he has changed. Helping you to release the pain caused by the transgression of porn on your relationship helps you resume the relationship currently on hold when the time is right.
- Disposing of his blame-shifting by placing the impacts of his addiction back onto him.
- Accepting that his addiction is not about your looks, your performance, your age, or your moods.
- Learn to use healthy confrontation to verify your own safety without trigger his tendency to relapse.
- Understand his cycle and support his recovery without giving up your own emotional safety.
Conjoint therapy is affordable on most any budget, with deep discounts and sliding scale for those who qualify.
While your husband goes through our early recovery program, we offer you weekly support with your own counselor-advocate. There is no additional cost to you for this support. Conjoint therapy is billed at the cost of an ordinary couples session, despite the addition of a second counselor and conducting two separate sessions. If support group participation is desired or needed, group registration fees are waived and you only need to add the $10 weekly group fee. Our standard rate for individual counseling is $75, and for couples counseling is $95 per session. We also have special reduced fees and discounts for Military Spouses, Church Ministers and Volunteers, Church Members, CO-pay Matching, Sliding Scale, and other helps for those who cannot afford counseling.