7 Warning Signs of Porn Addiction
7 Warning Signs of Porn Addiction:
Defensive or Reactive Attitude:
- Does he get angry or defensive about unexplained or recurring charges on your credit cards?
- Does he resent you interrupting his time on the computer?
- He gets angry when you try to discuss your love life.
- He’s defensive when asked about porn use.
- A request to stop looking at porn may be met with hostility, anger or denial.
Changes in Sexual Expectations or Preferences:
- Does he ask or insist that you to perform sexual acts outside your norm or make you uncomfortable, demand that you engage in very odd positions, or increasingly risky venues?
- Has his sexual appetite dramatically increased, decreased, or been lost altogether?
- Has he become emotionally distant, distracted, or not “present” during intercourse?
- Does he seem to have a change of desire such as in looking more intently at other women, younger women, or progressively younger women?
- Does it take more and more stimulation or aggression for him to get to orgasm.
- Has he been masturbating on a regular or increased basis, while at the same time lacks interest in sex or is sexually unresponsive?
Blame Shifting:
- Does he make you feel used or belittled sexually or criticize your performance?
- Is he blaming you for problems in the bedroom, or ignore you after he is finished with you?
- Does it take more and more stimulation or aggression for him to get to orgasm.
Increasing Isolation
- Demands for being alone on the computer, seeking more time to be alone, finding excuses not to go out with the family, spending more time in the bathroom, being secretive about his time. Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, demands privacy and/or changing his bedtime ritual.
Changes in Energy Level:
- Does he seem excessively tired? He may be spending time on the computer while he should be asleep.
Suspicious Behavior.
- When the computer, does rush to type something on the keyboard when you come in? Does he clear the browser history frequently?
- Does your husband seem to be less focused than usual?
- Is he unable to complete tasks that he was able to before?
- Is he more irritable than usual? More withdrawn? Does he resent you interrupting his time on the computer?
- Does he have a private or secret email address or cellphone?
- You feel like you’re no longer getting straight answers.
- You feel like you’re no longer getting straight answers when you ask for explanations about why your love life has changed. He’s defensive when asked about porn use.
Changes in Mood
- You notice withdrawal (emotional distress) when he stops watching porn.
- Irritability increases without an obvious reason or trigger.
- Seems more energized or excited when anticipating alone time.
Inability to Stop
- Engages in high-risk behavior such as viewing porn at work, in social settings on his phone, or at libraries.
- He continues to use pornography despite warnings at work.
- Continues even when you tell him how you feel, even if you tell him you will leave him.
- Continues to view, even after he develops a severe sexual dysfunction, is overwhelmed with guilt or shame.
If you would like to learn more about porn addiction and restoring your marriage contact me at Support@VBCC.email
Co-Parenting Strategies for Divorced Parents
Going through a divorce can bring the worst out of a couple that once promised each other forever. Your world might feel like it’s falling apart, and trying to co-parent when you’re struggling to simply keep going can be overwhelming. Learning to co-parent won’t be easy, but it’s not impossible. Use the five strategies below to start co-parenting with your ex.
1. Focus on the Children
By maintaining the focus on what’s best for your children, you can work toward providing as peaceful a home as possible for them. Providing them loving stability and structure will help ease them through this time of transition.
2. Communication is Essential
As you go through your divorce, your communication with your ex will inevitably suffer. It may be difficult to communicate with them; you may not want to talk to, or hear from, your ex. However, it’s important that communication regarding the children is maintained, and that your children are not used as messengers (i.e., “Tell your father you have a recital on Friday.”) Communicate directly with your spouse, finding creative ways to communicate to avoid conflict if necessary (text, email, letters, etc.)
3. Just the Facts
If you’re harboring resentment or have unfinished emotional business with your ex, the desire to express your emotional needs can feel overwhelming. Make a commitment to yourself that for the sake of your children’s well being, you’ll keep conversations focused on the issues.
4. Embrace Change
As you go through your divorce, there will be a great deal of change for yourself, your ex and your children. By expecting and embracing change, you’ll reduce the stress you feel when the unexpected presents itself.
5. Prioritize Your Health
Maintaining your health is important not only for you, but for your children as well. As they learn to cope with the changes in their family, having a healthy, happy, rested parent will help them adjust. Your children depend on you, and you owe it to them to give them your absolute best as a parent. Additionally, taking time to exercise and eat healthy will help you take the focus off of your divorce, and shift the focus back on to you moving forward, and making positive changes in your life.
As we go through a divorce, we mourn the relationship lost, and the dreams we had of the future. Although your ex is no longer your partner, your ex is still your child’s parent, and you will always be co-parents of the children you have together. Learning to get along and communicate will bring comfort to your children as they learn to cope with their parents’ divorce.
If you’re going through a divorce and struggling to co-parent effectively, call me today and let’s set up an appointment to talk.
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